


i guess you could call it self discovery

by fwhats



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Art, Bisexual Male Character, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hair-pulling, Loud Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Original Character(s), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Porn Watching, Punk, Rough Sex, Sexuality Crisis, gay porn, i guess?, julians bisexual its not rly mentioned though, kodak thinks hes straight but not only is he gay hes a bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 01:21:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21519586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fwhats/pseuds/fwhats
Summary: heres a lil thing about a couple of my characters fuckin', ive included links to drawings of both of them so u know what they look like! kodak is a whiny little punk boy who has a sexuality crisis and ends up getting dicked down good basically
Relationships: Kodak Emerson/Julian Cardona
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. look man im trying my best but please look at these precious dudes

[heres kodak the lil punk boy](https://crucifvcking.tumblr.com/post/189223581781/slutty-punk-bottom-boy-in-the-flesh)

[and heres julian he looks like a sub here but hes a dom in this fic. switch rights](https://crucifvcking.tumblr.com/post/189223568966/saucy-julian-i-drew-a-while-ago)

sorry i tried to figure out how to post photos on here but i couldnt figure it out bc i have brain mush disease ;w;

ok check out the next chapter for the saucy stuff :3


	2. hoo boy here we go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kodak thinks hes a straightie. kodak is a dumbass

Kodak stumbled into his apartment around 2 in the morning, still drunk enough that the world was spinning. He’d gone out to a club alone (he didn’t really have many friends) in the hopes of meeting girls there. He hadn’t been particularly interested in anyone who approached him. Hell, there was even a guy who hit on him. That was weird as fuck, huh? He’d been told by multiple people that he gave off gay vibes, and he really didn’t know what to think of that. He liked girls. Only girls. He was sure of it. But he felt something… Weird when that guy was coming on to him. He was a good five inches taller than him (not hard to do, Kodak was only about 5’8) and absolutely ripped. There was something about how much bigger he was than him that made him all stuttery and flustered. But, since ‘no homo’ was basically his middle name, he just chalked that up to the alcohol and ignored it.  
He threw himself onto his bed and reached for his laptop. He was planning to just find some porn, jack off, and go to sleep. He opened up an incognito tab (not that anyone ever looked at his computer but him) and started searching.  
As he scrolled, his brain kept flashing back to the guy at the bar. There was something about him. He didn’t know if he wanted to be like him or…  
No. Fuck no. Perish the thought. Douse it in gasoline and flick a match onto it. Right? That’s what he always did. Any time he caught himself thinking anything gay he went into vehement denial about it. Every single time. But the booze in his system was about to let his curiosity get the better of him.  
How do two guys even have sex, he wondered? He knew there were blowjobs and handjobs and the like, but… Was there more to it?  
Fucking hell, he was going to regret this in the morning.  
He hesitantly searched through the gay porn section of the site. His eyes widened at the thumbnails. Oh. Um.  
He finally clicks a random video and lets it play, watching intently.  
The video starts out with some shitty half-assed plot. He never did understand why they did that, what’s the point of a story? If you’re watching porn, you don’t give a shit about any of that, you just want to see people fucking. At least, that’s how Kodak felt.  
He skipped further into the video, a little too far. Suddenly, the smaller man on the screen was... Well... He was getting fucked in the ass, no other way to say it. Kodak hadn’t even considered the possibility of that. As soon as he heard a guttural moan from the man on top, he cursed quietly to himself. Why was that so goddamn sexy? The noise went straight to his dick. Oh man, oh fuck. He paused the video. What the fuck was he doing?  
He was straight, he was sure of it. He liked girls for as long as he could remember. Where was this even coming from?  
He must’ve been really drunk, because he clicked play again. Yeah, that’s what it was. It was just the alcohol, nothing more. There wasn’t anything wrong with curiosity, was there?  
The sound of skin against skin and sexy as fuck moans coming from both ends quickly had Kodak so hard that it almost hurt. His fingers slipped under his jeans and briefs, wrapping around his cock. He sighed in relief.  
As he continued watching, he wondered how it felt to get fucked like that. What did that even feel like? The guy on the bottom sure sounded like it felt really good. What if he...  
No, he decided, he wasn’t going to try that. Even though he was drunk, he knew he could never come back from that. What if he really liked it? What the fuck would he do then?  
“Aa-ah… Harder… Please,” the man on the screen begged. The larger man complied, spreading his legs wider and pinning him down by his hips. Oh, fuck.  
Without even noticing, Kodak began stroking himself faster. What was he even doing? He muffled a strangled moan with his free hand. Fuck, fuck, fuck he was close.  
A good close up was all it took to have him cumming hard all over his hand and stomach. He bit his knuckles to avoid letting out an extremely embarrassing noise. The afterglow hit him immediately, he slumped over and let out a breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding in. He sat there, staring at the ceiling and questioning all of his life choices before grabbing a couple tissues from his bedside. He lazily cleaned himself before crawling under the covers. He slept like a goddamn baby.


	3. oh god oh fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> crisis time babey

He woke up the next morning to a pounding headache and an upset stomach. He’d definitely overdone it last night. He looked over to his alarm clock, and oh god oh fuck he had work in a couple hours. He knew he could probably just call in, Blue could just watch the front for him… He decided to wait a little bit and see how he felt after some painkillers.  
He opened his laptop to play some music like he did every morning, and holy fuck he had almost forgotten. That’s when the dread set in. Last night was undeniable evidence that he wasn’t as straight as he thought he was. He could’ve just said it was a drunken mistake, but deep down he knew that wasn’t fully true. He liked that way too much for it to have only been the alcohol. He hastily closed the incognito tab and opened up his music playlist, punk music blasting from the speakers as he made his way to the bathroom. God, his head was throbbing. He took a few painkillers before looking at himself in the mirror. He had the most ridiculous case of bed head, making him laugh softly to himself. A shower would probably be a good idea.

-

After about an hour, he decided to go into work. After drinking lots of water and eating something, he felt less awful. He really couldn’t afford to miss a day due to a hangover anyway, he decided. The job just barely paid the bills as it was.  
“You’re late,” was the first thing Blue said to him that morning.  
“Yeah, by like five minutes,” he retorted. His boss sighed, unsure what he expected to begin with.  
“Alright, well, call me next time, if you want to keep your job,” he said, exasperation evident in his voice.  
“Fine, fine,” he agreed reluctantly. “I’m sorry.”  
“It’s alright, Emerson. Now, I have business to attend to in the back, don’t leave the front unless I send you on a delivery. You know the drill.”  
“Got it,” he huffed, taking a seat behind the counter and setting his backpack on the ground. Today was gonna be a long one.  
-  
He did what he always did at work. No one was coming in, so he browsed porno mags. Except this time, it was different. It felt like he was trying to prove something to himself. Before last night, he had been so goddamn sure that he was straight that now he didn’t even know what to do with himself. Maybe he really wasn’t straight.  
The sound of the front door opening cut his train of thought short. He jerked his head up, smiling.  
“Hello! How may I help you today?” he asked, his voice sounded tired no matter how cheery he tried to seem. “Oh! Julian. Hi.”  
Julian gave him a look that was somewhere between a sweet smile and a smirk.  
“How are you?” he asked as he approached the front desk. He was wearing a crop top and really form fitting jeans. Fuck. Kodak was going to die. He felt his face heat up.  
“I-I’m good!” he stammered. God, kill him now. “A bit hungover, but otherwise good. You?”  
“Oh, I’m great,” he replied. God, he has a really nice voice.  
Kodak wanted to punch himself in the fucking face. So maybe he wasn’t fully straight, but that doesn’t mean he should be lusting after this dude he barely knows. He was hot! So what! Big deal!  
“Are you okay? Your face is red,” Julian commented, snapping Kodak out of it. Oh shit, he’d been staring.  
“Y-Yeah!” he said, a little too loud and a little too rushed. “I’m good!”  
Julian took a good, long look at Kodak, his eyes took him up and down. This only made his face heat up more. He felt like he was going to pass out. The other man’s expression turned from something pensive into something mischievous. He took another step closer.  
“Are you sure, baby?” he purred. “You look rather flustered.”  
The use of the pet name made it feel like Kodak’s face was on fire. Fuck, fuck, fuck, what was he supposed to do?  
“Y-yes, I’m, uh, I’m fine,” he said, quieter this time. “D-don’t call me that.”  
“Why not?” he asked in a quasi-innocent tone.  
“It’s embarrassing,” he murmured.  
Julian got as close as he could get to him with the counter between them. Kodak could feel the other’s breath on his face. He froze.  
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you like it,” he said softly, teasingly.  
“I-I-I… Uh… I’m… Not gay,” he replied weakly. Julian laughed, and Kodak pouted. Rude.  
“Somehow I don’t believe you,” he said with a grin. “I’m good at telling when someone else is into me, and you’re not doing a very good job at hiding it, dear.”  
“D-dont… Call me that…” Kodak half-heartedly protested. Their faces were so close together, his heart was pounding out of his chest. Fuck it, he decided. He grabbed the collar of Julian’s shirt closed the distance between their lips. Julian let out a huff of laughter into the kiss, as though to wordlessly say ‘knew it’. He grabbed the back of Kodak’s neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. He felt like he was melting. It felt so good. So much for being heterosexual, huh?  
He jolted when he felt Julian’s tongue trace his bottom lip. Fuck. He parted his lips for him, moaning softly without realizing. Julian pulled away, and Kodak’s eyes went wide.  
“N-no, it’s not like that! It, uh, I…” he trailed off, meeting the other’s eyes. Julian smiled at him and his heart fluttered.  
“Cute,” he murmured. “You’re cute. Your noises are cute. I want to make you make more of them.”  
Kodak thanked god that he was standing behind a counter right then, or else shit would've gotten real awkward real fast. His face got impossibly hotter.  
“Y-you… Thanks, you’re, um…” Kodak replied, pausing as he tried to think of the right words to say. “U-um… Fuck, you’re really pretty.”  
Julian laughed, tilting his head back a little. God damn it.  
“Would you like to exchange numbers? Maybe we can meet up some time,” he suggested.  
“Y-yes…” Kodak said quietly. “I would.”


	4. ok porn time lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dude guess what! kodak finally gets dicked and its great!

As soon as they walked in the door, Julian slammed Kodak against the wall and kissed him deeply. Within a matter of seconds, their tongues were sliding together, Julian’s hands firm on his hips. Kodak’s heart was about to damn near burst out of his chest. Julian slid a thigh between Kodak’s legs, causing him to moan loudly into his mouth.  
“O-ohh, my god,” Kodak gasped, grinding against the other’s thigh enthusiastically. Julian laughed.  
“I can’t believe I have you moaning like this even though I haven’t even touched you. You really want this, don’t you, honey?”  
All Kodak could do was whimper in response, catching the other’s lips in another hot kiss. Julian’s hands drifted from Kodak’s hips to his ass, giving it a firm squeeze. The sound he made was downright pornographic, and the sound went straight to Julian’s cock.  
“Jesus, such a little slut, huh?” Julian murmured against his lips, grinning. “I can only imagine how you’ll sound when I’m fucking you.”  
“Haahh… God, please touch me, I’ll do anything,” Kodak begged pathetically.  
“Since you asked so nicely,” Julian replied, complying. “But let’s move to the bed, shall we?”  
Kodak nodded, letting Julian lead him by the hand to his bed. He gave the smaller man a sweet kiss before practically throwing him on the bed and crawling on top of him. Kodak gasped, the look in his eyes needy and lustful.  
“I-I want…” he started, trailing off. His face heated up and his hands went to cover up his face. He murmures something under his breath.  
“What is it, honey?” Julian teased. “What do you want? You’ll have to speak up.”  
“Please, Julian,” he mewled, desperate. “S-stop teasing…”  
“Oh, but it’s so fun to fluster you, baby boy,” he retorted, his voice deep, almost growling. “I love to watch that pretty face flush for me.”  
Something in Kodak fucking snapped right then. All those years alone and in denial, he couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted it and he wanted it now, he felt like he was about to lose it. He looked Julian dead in the eyes, meeting his hazy gaze with intensity he didn’t even know he had in him.  
“Please fuck me,” he begged breathily before grabbing the back of Julian’s neck and pulling him into a passionate kiss. With that, Julian grabbed him by the hips, and broke the kiss, flipping Kodak over onto his stomach. He pulled his hips up and began grinding his hard cock against the curve of the smaller man’s ass. Kodak buried his face in the sheets and pillows below him, whimpering and moaning uncontrollably.  
“I would love to do that for you,” he breathed into the other’s ear, gently nipping and licking at the cartilage. “You ever been fucked before, darling?”  
“N-no,” he admitted sheepishly, words still a little muffled. “I’m a virgin. Never f-fingered myself. I only, ah, came to terms with the whole ‘not straight’ thing, like, a few days ago.”  
“Well, could’ve fooled me,” Julian replied with a soft laugh. His fingers traced the hem of Kodak’s jeans, causing him to gasp softly. “May I…?”  
“Yes, god, please,” he begged, wiggling his hips slightly. “T-touch me, please, I feel like I’m going crazy”  
“As you wish,” Julian purred in response as he began to unzip the other’s fly. Kodak whimpered in anticipation, yelping as the other’s hand found his cock. Fuck, he was so hard it hurt, the relief of finally being touched made him nearly sob.  
“Please,” Kodak whined pathetically, his ass in the air and his face buried into a pillow.  
Julian grinned as he broke contact for a moment, reaching to his bedside table to retrieve lube and condoms. Right then it hit Kodak that fuck, this was really happening, and his brain practically short circuited.  
Julian wasted no time in applying some lube to his fingers, running his other hand along Kodak’s waist and hips.  
“I want you so bad,” he murmured, his voice low and dripping with lust. “I’ll make this feel real good for you, I promise.”  
Kodak let out a choked-up cry as he felt a fingertip prod at his entrance, it was a little cold and very slick, and he couldn’t fucking believe how desperate he was for it. He involuntarily let out a very loud, very embarrassing moan as the digit began to sink into him. Fuck. Fuck.  
“Ohh my god,” he stuttered out, voice muffled a bit by the pillow. “Holy shit. More, god, please, more, I need it so badly.”  
Julian laughed lowly and breathily. As soon as he had his index finger all the way in, he slowly pulled it out before thrusting it back in. Hard. Kodak nearly screamed into the pillow, clutching it so hard his knuckles turned white.  
“I adore how reactive you are, honey,” Julian mused, a look of adoration in his eyes as he set a teasing and slow pace. “Don’t hold anything back, I want to hear how good I’m making you feel.”  
Kodak whined as he rolled his hips to the rhythm of the pace. He needed more, and he needed it now.  
“Another one, please,” he pleaded, his face felt like it was on fire. He was getting very impatient very quickly.  
“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Julian replied, pulling the single finger out before pressing two in. Kodak was panting at this point, with moans, gasps, and whimpers riddled throughout. God, he was so vocal, and it had Julian so hard that he was aching to sink himself into that soft, slick heat. He started to move his hands a little quicker now, scissoring and stretching him, preparing him for something bigger. Kodak couldn’t hold back the string of filthy sounds he let out into the pillow.  
“I swear, you’re like something out of a wet dream,” Julian breathed, biting his lip to suppress a groan. “So hot and wet and tight around my fingers. God, I bet you can’t wait for my cock, hm?”  
“Yes, god,” he cried. “More, please, god, I want you inside me so bad.”  
Julian grinned again, sliding in a third finger and relishing in the needy whimpers and yelps it drew out of the other.  
“If you want it, you’re gonna have to beg, honey,” he teased, thrusting his fingers in to the hilt for emphasis. Kodak bit his lip nearly hard enough to draw blood, trying so hard to not cry out.  
“Fuck me, please,” he begged pathetically, so turned on that he abandoned any shame he had. “I need you so bad.”  
“Mmm, you plead so pretty,” the other murmured. He pulled his fingers out and Kodak made an embarrassing sound at the loss of contact. Julian finally unzipped his jeans, pulling down his pants and briefs, tossing them to the side carelessly. The relief of being free from that constriction made him let out a heavy sigh of relief.  
He grabbed a condom from the bed where he left them, quickly tearing the packet open. He wasted no time in sliding it down his fully hard cock, the contact making him shiver slightly. He needed this so bad, they both did.  
Now that that was out of the way, he wasted no time pressing his body to Kodak’s, his dick resting against the other’s ass, his chest pressed to his back. Kodak’s skin was hot to the touch, so smooth and soft. Julian tangled his fingers in the smaller man’s hair, pulling hard, lifting his face from the pillow and making him cry out.  
“You’re going to let me hear every little sound you make as I fuck you,” he growled. “I won’t have it any other way.”  
“Ahh, yes sir,” he breathed out, biting his lip again to keep himself from whimpering. Julian’s dick twitched at the use of that title, grinning ravenously. He couldn’t hold back any longer, he lowered his free hand to help guide his cock to Kodak’s ass. As he began to press in, his knees almost gave out.  
“Fuck, I’m not gonna last long, baby,” he groaned, watching himself sink into the other man. Kodak moaned so loud that Julian was afraid the neighbors would hear, but there was no way in hell he was going to stop now. Once he was all the way in, Kodak sobbed from how good it felt, his eyes glazed over from pleasure. Julian would’ve usually taken a moment for the other to adjust, but he didn’t have the fucking patience right then. He pulled out most of the way, just leaving the tip in, before thrusting his hips forward at full force.  
Kodak practically screamed as tears started to form in his eyes. No jack-off session he’d ever had in his entire goddamn life had felt this good. This was something else entirely, and he couldn’t get enough of it.  
Julian immediately set a fast, hard pace, one hand still pulling Kodak’s head back by his hair, the other gripping his hips firmly. Kodak was definitely going to wake up the neighbors, but Julian couldn’t bring himself to care. This felt way too good, and the sounds the smaller man was making were hotter than any porn he’d ever seen. Julian wasn’t succeeding in keeping his voice down either, grunting and moaning as he thrust his cock in and out.  
“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight,” Julian moaned, pulling Kodak’s hair back further and meeting his neck with his lips, breathing heavily as he placed kisses bites on the side of the other’s throat. The sound Kodak made was so breathy and needy that Julian swore he almost came right then. “You like this? Me fucking your tight little ass? I know you do baby, and since you feel like heaven around me, I’ll gladly give it to you all you want.”  
“Hahh! Close!” was all that Kodak could manage, punctuating every thrust with a desperate, throaty moan.  
“Me too, darling,” Julian purred, picking up the pace, going as hard and fast as he could manage, moving his hand from the other’s hair to around his throat, gripping his small neck roughly, but not with intent to harm, just to make him a little lightheaded. “Cum for me, baby boy.”  
Kodak didn’t need to be told twice, a particularly rough thrust slamming into his prostate and making him fucking scream (yeah, the neighbors were definitely wide awake now) and cum harder than he ever had, all over the sheets below him. Julian followed suit, fucking him through his orgasm as his cum filled the thin condom seperating them, letting out a guttural moan.  
Both of them took a second to breathe then, panting and basking in the immediate afterglow. The larger man slowly removed his cock from the other man’s ass, Kodak making one last shameful noise before Julian flopped down onto the bed. He reached over to the smaller man’s face and gave him kisses on his lips, cheeks, nose, everywhere.  
“You did so good for me baby, that was fucking amazing,” Julian sighed contently, wrapping his arms around Kodak’s waist and pulling him closer. “Such a pretty boy.”  
“Dude, I swear to god you can’t just call me that, I’ll get hard again,” Kodak replied with a flushed face.  
“Hush now, I don’t think that’s even possible with how hard you just came.”  
“Don’t test me bitch, my dick is capable of things beyond your imagination.”


End file.
